-This post was submitted to bostontourguide.org by a source who prefers to remain anonymous.  Thank you to that source.

Sometimes we are known as Massholes.  We live in Back Bay, the North End, Southie, Beacon Hill, Somerville, Allston, Brighton, Cambridge,JP, Fenway, Dorchesta’, the North and South shores… We club on Landsdowne and shop on Newbury. Everbody has a friend in a band who’s playing at the Middle East that everyone else has got to see.  We don’t take the flowers from those crazy ladies downtown, thinking they’re free. We think that it’s our God-given right to cut someone off in traffic. We think using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.  We always bang a left at the green light, and the on coming traffic always expects it!  We don’t pronouce “R”s (cause that sounds queer). The greatest compliment you can ever give, or get is “That’s Wicked Awesome ” We think that three straight days of 90-degree temperatures is a “Heat Wave”. We Refer to six inches of snow as a “dusting.” Say everything in town is “a five-minute walk.” Wethink that 63-degree ocean water is warm. Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don’t. A liquor store is called a “packie” and “a drinking problem” means that all the “packies” are all closed. The smallest beer is a pint. It’s not a water fountain; it’s a bubblah. It’s not a trashcan; it’s a barrel. It’s not a shopping cart; “it’s a carriage”. It’s not a purse; “it’s a pocketbook”. They’re not franks; “Fah Christ Sakes” they’re “Hawt Dawgs”. Route 128 is I-95 & I-93 it goes North, South, East, and West. Anything west of 128 is “the boonies”. We call our subway the “T” and it doesn’t run all night. We root for a team who went 86 years without winning the World Series. We say Larry Bird is the greatest basketball player there ever will be. Ted Williams, the greatest hitter tah ever play the game. Tom Brady is “The Man!”, Drew Bledsow is just a water boy, and Bill Bellack can say whatever “the fahk” he wants, when ever “the fahk” he wants to say it. The Bruins always got a chance at the Cup, and we punch anybody who says anything bad about Bobby Orr. I yell “YANKEES SUCK”, and so does my 7 year old cousin, even when the Sox are playing the Tigers. We accept the fact that Johnny Damen goes to the same barber as Benadick Arnorld, but we don’t discuss it.  We work hard. We play harder. Our weekends start Thursday afternoons and sometimes include Tuesday nights. Our “walk of shame” is the morning after when our wallets are empty and we ran out of gas on the Mass Pike. We are guys, girls, black, white, tall, short…smart (and on scholarships), dumb (and owing more than our life’s worth in student loans…). New York Pizza at 1am is the only time we don’t bitch about “Nooh Yawk” We live for : Bars that don’t card, even if were well over 21, Warm days on the common. Cambridgeside Galleria, Copley Square, Downtown Crossing, Sunday Pats Games. Blizzards cancelling classes. Hempfest. Keg parties in Allston. Concerts at the Tweeter Center. Crazy people on the T. Bums asking our broke asses for money. All-nighters in the dorms. Marathon Monday. Drunken cab rides. Waking up in places you don’t remember going to. We think Cape Cod is a little slice of Heaven down here on Earth. We only go to church when were in trouble. We never swim the Charles but we love that dirty water.  We’re defined by the roommates we’ve had, the parties we’ve attended, the classes we’ve taken, the people we’ve kissed…and those that we’ve missed. Nights of laughter. Nights of tears. Hellos, goodbyes, “I’m sorry’s”, “I’ll call you”s, “what’s your major?’s” and everything in between …but most of all, we are the friendships we’ve made and the bonds we’ve built. The people may fade, but the memories never will. We’re just small kids in a big city… The Real Bostonians (Even when were not in Boston).

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